Cheerful, kind, and simple is the first impression I get hold of when I met her. She is unique among others and her beauty is exotic. We seldom talk on our first meeting but as we go along we became comfortable with each other, until we became friends. I met her in a University where I studied, wherein she happen to be my classmate. Since we're both came from another town, we decided to rent a house nearby the University. We became closer by sharing each other's story. Until one night she told me about her past. She first ask me not to let her down after hearing anything. So I said "sure!".. Then she started telling the story...... "I was young then, innocent about to almost everything. I never thought that somebody will betray me." She stared at me and said "I am a victim of child molestation". I was shocked, I can't collect words to utter and I don't know what emotion must come first in to my heart. The echo of laughters in our room were vanished with mixed emotions of tears, anger, grief, and mercy.. Then she lean on to her pillow and continue her story. "They are my friends quite older than me, we were just playing that day. They call it a game, we need to take off our clothes and kiss each other's _______. You know it. But I felt different that day, I don't know why. They did that to me for few more times until I felt strange. There's something inside me saying I shall not come to their house and play with those people again. I just did it without understanding why. So I just find another playmates which have been good to me also. My life goes normally like what the other child's does. I have new companions and playmates. I finished my primary and secondary education well. And now, here I am studying this course which I never thought would brings everything back into my head. At first I just ignore it, because that happened a long time ago, and there's no reason for me to turn on that page of my life again and review it. But what can I do, if fate seems to make it up for me. It's a like a nightmare that even I'm awake it keeps on rolling into my head, trying to destroy my concentration, and makes me anxious all the time. Honestly, sometimes I am paranoid of people's judgement. I was disturbed by such thoughts. I even ask God, why me? Why do I have to struggle with this horrible thing? Is it my fault that I've made myself a fool for making friends with those people?? I was young then, I don't exactly understand what those fool did to me during that time. You know what?? I felt so bad. My heart is dying because of all these painful realization. It wasn't my idea, I don't chose that either.. but why do I have to suffer??.. " She keeps her eyes on me. I can feel her sufferings. I can see those anguish into her eyes. She was battling with such agony that she never imagined to have. I can't find the right words to say to ease even a little pain cause I know there's no right word that can cure her heart, so I just hug her. She cried and keeps on asking me the word "why?". Suddenly, I manage to utter words and I told her that everything would be fine and would back into normal. Maybe God wants to make you stronger for the future encounter. I know it is painful but the basic thing of making yourself stronger is to face your own dilemma. How can you help others if you can't help yourself? How can other's accept you, if you can't accept yourself? How can you be a good listener, if you can't hear your hearts' scream? How can you understand others, if you don't understand yourself? How can you be YOU, if you don't know who you really are? Then she wipe her tears, and said "thanks for listening. I don't know if I look inferior to you right now or anything but I hope you will still be my friend. Maybe you're right that God wants me to face this. I just couldn't help the pain it brings every time. But I'll show you I can fix myself. I won't be bitten up by this disgusting dilemma. You're there, right? There's God, and I have Me. I can fight, and I cannot be defeated. And one thing is for sure, I'm wiser now." Then she smiled at me.
She's not inferior, honestly, I admire her. She is strong for she was able to keep her sanity in spite of such struggles. She's brave for she was able to tell her story to somebody that she didn't really know that much yet. Her honesty about her feelings is really splendid. I was surprise by her story. I never imagined that I could met a person like her who will let me witness her sufferings, and cry unhesitantly in front of me. I admire her strong will to fight even it means a lot of pain. We all have dilemma, varied types that brings nothing but PAIN. It is not the PAIN that really matters, what matter is YOU LEARN FROM IT.
Cheerful, kind, and simple is the first impression I get hold of when I met her. She is unique among others and her beauty is exotic. We seldom talk on our first meeting but as we go along we became comfortable with each other, until we became friends. I met her in a University where I studied, wherein she happen to be my classmate. Since we're both came from another town, we decided to rent a house nearby the University. We became closer by sharing each other's story. Until one night she told me about her past. She first ask me not to let her down after hearing anything. So I said "sure!".. Then she started telling the story...... "I was young then, innocent about to almost everything. I never thought that somebody will betray me." She stared at me and said "I am a victim of child molestation". I was shocked, I can't collect words to utter and I don't know what emotion must come first in to my heart. The echo of laughters in our room were vanished with mixed emotions of tears, anger, grief, and mercy.. Then she lean on to her pillow and continue her story. "They are my friends quite older than me, we were just playing that day. They call it a game, we need to take off our clothes and kiss each other's _______. You know it. But I felt different that day, I don't know why. They did that to me for few more times until I felt strange. There's something inside me saying I shall not come to their house and play with those people again. I just did it without understanding why. So I just find another playmates which have been good to me also. My life goes normally like what the other child's does. I have new companions and playmates. I finished my primary and secondary education well. And now, here I am studying this course which I never thought would brings everything back into my head. At first I just ignore it, because that happened a long time ago, and there's no reason for me to turn on that page of my life again and review it. But what can I do, if fate seems to make it up for me. It's a like a nightmare that even I'm awake it keeps on rolling into my head, trying to destroy my concentration, and makes me anxious all the time. Honestly, sometimes I am paranoid of people's judgement. I was disturbed by such thoughts. I even ask God, why me? Why do I have to struggle with this horrible thing? Is it my fault that I've made myself a fool for making friends with those people?? I was young then, I don't exactly understand what those fool did to me during that time. You know what?? I felt so bad. My heart is dying because of all these painful realization. It wasn't my idea, I don't chose that either.. but why do I have to suffer??.. " She keeps her eyes on me. I can feel her sufferings. I can see those anguish into her eyes. She was battling with such agony that she never imagined to have. I can't find the right words to say to ease even a little pain cause I know there's no right word that can cure her heart, so I just hug her. She cried and keeps on asking me the word "why?". Suddenly, I manage to utter words and I told her that everything would be fine and would back into normal. Maybe God wants to make you stronger for the future encounter. I know it is painful but the basic thing of making yourself stronger is to face your own dilemma. How can you help others if you can't help yourself? How can other's accept you, if you can't accept yourself? How can you be a good listener, if you can't hear your hearts' scream? How can you understand others, if you don't understand yourself? How can you be YOU, if you don't know who you really are? Then she wipe her tears, and said "thanks for listening. I don't know if I look inferior to you right now or anything but I hope you will still be my friend. Maybe you're right that God wants me to face this. I just couldn't help the pain it brings every time. But I'll show you I can fix myself. I won't be bitten up by this disgusting dilemma. You're there, right? There's God, and I have Me. I can fight, and I cannot be defeated. And one thing is for sure, I'm wiser now." Then she smiled at me.
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